Comedy Lords of the Underworld
by B1ox1d3
Summary: Jimmy and Timmy are hosting a Comedy and Musical festival in Denver, but they need help from some old friends to set it up. Meanwhile, Craig struggles with emotions he hasn't felt before and Cartman is pissed that he can't throw an awesome party like Craig did.
1. Chapter 1: Craig's Dream

**A/N: This is my third story in the series "The Other Boys of South Park". I strongly recommend reading the previous story in the series,**_**Inspector Butters and the Case of the Stolen Sushi**_**, before starting this one, as there will be references to things that happened that you will not understand without reading it, and they tie directly into each other. You may also want to read my first story, **_**North **_**Park, as there will likely be references to that too. Enjoy!**

_Chapter 1: Craig's Dream_

Kids crowded around the table in the cafeteria where Stan, Kyle, Cartman, Kenny, Clyde, Token, Butters, and Craig all sat. The crowd wanted to tell Craig how much fun his party was. After a few minutes, he told them all to leave so he could eat.

"Finally, they're gone." Cartman said annoyed.

"You're just jealous that everyone thinks Craig is cool and not you." Kyle said.

"Maybe he should go to jelly school." Wendy said as she walked by.

"Fuck you Wendy. I'm not jealous. I could throw a way better party."

"I'd like to see you try. Craig's party was badass." Stan said.

"Oh yeah? Maybe I will!"

"There's no way it will be better." Clyde said.

"Yes it will Clyde. I'll bet you five bucks its better than Craig's shitty party."

"Ok." Cartman stormed off to think up a plan for his party. "No one is going to show up anyway." Clyde said.

"Craig, you ok? You've been acting weird all day." Kyle asked.

"Yeah. I'm fine. Just have some stuff going on." Craig got up and walked to the bathroom.

"Hey f-fellas." Jimmy said, approaching the table.

"How's the festival going?" Token asked.

"G-g-great. We almost have everything r-ready."

"Just don't make fun of German people's jokes again." Stan added.

"Speaking of G-German jokes, Funnybot is going to be c-coming."

"Awesome! He's hilarious." Kyle replied.

"Who else is coming?" Clyde asked.

"Tyler Perry, Adam Sandler, and Eddie Murphy are also doing comedy."

"Tyler Perry? Cool!" Token said.

"And we have some big bands coming too."

"Who?" Stan asked.

"It's a s-surprise. Gotta run fellas. T-Timmy is waiting for me."

...

Craig splashed water on his face from the sink. His nightmare last night kept him awake all night, thinking. 'Why would I have a dream like that?' he thought to himself. He tried to get his mind off it, but he just couldn't move on. He had to act on it. He dried his face and put his hat back on. He took a deep breath and went back to the cafeteria.

...

In the art room, Timmy and Jimmy were working on signs and banners to hang at the festival. Friday was only four days away, and they had to get the decorations ready by Thursday to be hung.

"We're going to n-need to get more help. The two of us c-c-can't do this alone." Jimmy said.

"Timmy!"

"I know! We can ask my h-homies the Crips for help. Come on Timmy, we don't have much time left."

...

Craig stood in the doorway and looked over to the girls' table. He scanned the table until he found who he was looking for. Talking to Bebe was the red-haired girl he dreamt about. He had to talk to her so he could get his mind clear. Craig began to slowly trudge over to the table.

"Hey, Red."

"Yeah?" She said, turning to him.

"Can I, uh, talk to you?"

"Sure." She got up and followed him into the hallway. "What's up?" Craig explained to her that he had a dream about the two of them together. Craig opening up to her caught her off guard. She had always thought of him as quiet and emotionless.

"I don't know what the dream means, but I felt like I had to say something to you." Red smiled and stepped closer to him. She kissed him on the cheek and walked back into the cafeteria. Deep down, she had a crush on him too. She always thought he was cute, and after they worked together to take care of their egg, it went beyond that. She never got the courage to ask him, because she didn't think he liked her.

Red sat back down at her table.

"Well? What was that about?" Bebe asked.

"Nothing." Red replied with a smile. The girls all knew about her crush on Craig, but she didn't know they knew. Wendy noticed Craig come back in with a smile on his face too. Bebe noticed too. The two laughed to themselves, figuring out what had happened.

"It was something. Craig is smiling." Bebe finally said. The girls all turned to look for themselves. They then turned to Red.

"Ok fine. He said he had a dream about me and was confused about it. Then I kissed him." The girls all ooohed.

...

Craig sat back down and his table. The guys didn't seem to care or notice.

"You like Red, huh?" Token said.

"What? No I don't." Craig said.

"Then why did she just kiss you in the hallway. And why are you so happy?" Stan asked. They had looked out to see what he was doing, and saw her kiss him.

"Uh."

"Haha, Craig is in love with Red." Clyde joked.

"Craig getting that red bush." Kenny joked.

"No! Not bush!" Butters ran off, remembering what's under bush.

"The hell's wrong with Butters?" Stan asked.

"Who the hell knows? Anyway, you going to ask her out Craig? I think you two would make a good couple." Kyle said.

"I don't know." Craig replied.

"You should. Then you can double date with me and Britney at the festival, if I can find her." Clyde said.

"I don't know." The bell rang, and the students began to head back to class.

...

Cartman was already in the classroom, still pissed off. The rest of the class joined him. Everyone took their seats and waited for Mr. Garrison.

"How's the party going, fatass?" Stan asked.

"It's gonna be better than Craig's. Where is Craig?" Cartman looked at Craig's usual seat and found one of the girls sitting there instead. He looked to the other side of the room to find him sitting next to Red. "The fuck's Craig doing over there?"

"Long story." Stan said. Mr. Garrison finally came in to start class.

...

"P-Principal Victoria, me and T-Timmy need to leave school early." Jimmy said.

"What for?" she asked.

"You see, we have this big f-festival on Friday, and we need to get r-ready."

"Can't it wait until after school though?"

"No. We need to f-f-find my homies before it gets dark."

"Fine, just let me tell your parents." Principal Victoria called Jimmy and Timmy's parents to tell them and let the boys go. They boarded the bus to Denver to find their fellow Crips.

**End of Chapter 1**

**A/N: More to come soon! Feel free to leave a review, I really appreciate them. **


	2. Chapter 2: Thug Lyfe

_Chapter 2: Thug Lyfe_

Timmy and Jimmy got off the bus in East Denver. The Crips had fled Five Points after the Bloods came through in full force a few months back. The run-down apartment buildings towered over them. Trash and blood littered the street. All the windows were either smashed or boarded up. There were no other people outside. The two walked up to a familiar looking building and knocked. Cipac came to the door.

"If it ain't Roller and 4 legs. Come on in dawg." He stepped aside and let them in. He looked around and shut the door, locking it.

"How's it goin' homies?" the Crips leader asked.

"Pretty good. We need your h-h-help." Jimmy said.

"We'd love to help you homies out, but the Reds got us pinned down. We ain't going nowhere." Cipac said.

"I thought you settled your dif... settled your dii... settled your differences."

"Nah dawg. The Reds got pissed the fuck off. Said one of the homies cut in front of them in the line at North Park Funland. They lit him up and forced us out of Five Points." A Crip wearing a blue basketball jersey said.

"We'll just have to do another l-lock in at the rec center."

"Naw we tried that. Didn't work. One of the homies blocked their shot and they said it was goaltending. Goaltending my ass."

"This can only be settled with blood." The leader added. "You two once killed thirteen in one night. You help us out and we'll help you out." Jimmy and Timmy looked at each other. Before they could answer, gunshots rang out. The Bloods were storming the safe house.

...

The bell rang, ending the school day. In the hallway, Craig was at his locker putting his books away. Bebe and Wendy came up to him.

"Hey Craig. Heard what happened with you and Red." Bebe said.

"She told you?" he replied.

"No, we figured it out." Wendy said. "She has had a crush on you for a while. You two should totally go out!"

"I don't know."

"Yeah Craig! You two would make a great couple! It'd probably help your confidence too." Bebe added.

"Confidence?" he said, confused.

"Yeah, you're always so quiet and look bored." Wendy explained.

"That's how I like things though, nice and boring."

"Well you have to open up! You can't be an emotionless rock forever."

"I don't know. I'll think about it." The two walked off together and Craig shut his locker.

"Craig!" Clyde yelled. "Come on, me and Tweek are walking home." Craig walked over to join his friends. As they walked down the hall to the doors, they passed Cartman, who was arguing with Stan and Kyle.

"Well I wasn't going to invite you assholes anyway!" Cartman yelled.

"No one is going to show up fatass. No one likes you." Kyle said.

"Screw you Kyle. People will come when I tell them about all the badass stuff I'm going to have."

"Like what?" Stan asked.

"And inflatable obstacle course and Brian Boitano."

"Brian Boitano!? Bullshit, you can't get Brian Boitano to come." Kyle said.

"I can and I did. He's going to do tricks in the ice skating rink I'm getting."

"Uh... yeah right. We don't believe you." Stan said.

"Fine, but when my party kicks ass, you'll be sorry." Stan and Kyle walked off angry. Cartman waited until they were gone and then panicked. He dashed home to his mom.

...

"Mo-o-om. Can I have a party?" Cartman pleaded.

"Sure poopsikins, for your birthday."

"But, mo-o-o-o-om, my birthday isn't for a couple months. I need to have a party so I can be kewl."

"Oh, ok."

"Great! I need an ice rink, and inflatable obstacle course, and Brian Boitano!"

"Oh, Eric. I can't afford an ice rink or an obstacle course." She said.

"Oh, I'm sorry mom. I thought you loved me. I thought you would care that if my party isn't kewl kids are going to make fun of me." He paused. "The least you could've done was take me to see a movie. Because I like to be entertained before I get FUCKED!" He yelled. Mrs. Cartman was torn. She didn't want her son to be made fun of, but she could barely afford to feed him. Finally, she sighed.

"Ok Eric. If you are a good boy all week, and don't get into any trouble, not use any bad language, and do what I say, you can have your party."

"Kickass!" Eric immediately covered his mouth and looked at his mom.

"I'll let that one slide, but no more!"

"Sweet." He said with a smile.

...

"Aw shit! The mothafuckin' Bloods are here. Everyone get down on tha floo!" Cipac yelled. Everyone got down behind something and started shooting back out the windows. The gunfire finally ceased after both sides ran out of bullets.

"Come on out, Crips! We got you surrounded!" the leader of the Bloods yelled in.

"Come and get us then. We ain't surrendering." The Crips leader yelled back. The Bloods began hitting the door. It was only a matter of time before they busted in, and a knife fight started. Jimmy got an idea.

"W-what if we set a t-trap?"

"Trap? How the fuck we supposed to trap fifty gang members?" Cipac questioned.

"Simple. One of us goes into the r-room over there and calls out to them when they br-break in. When they all rush in to kill him, he runs out and l-l-locks the d-door."

"That just might work. C.J., go in the room and shut off the light. When they come in, yell out 'Oh shit, they're here' or somethin'. The rest of you, hide in the back." Everyone went to their positions and waited. The door fell, and C.J. lured them in. He snuck out and slammed the door, locking them in the dark. The others came out, and they celebrated.

"It worked! Nice idea 4-legs. We'll help you out now. What's the problem?"

"Well, we are having a music and comedy show, and we need help with the de-dec-decorations."

"Say no more. Crips, lets roll." The Crips members got into their cars and drove to the festival location.

**End of Chapter 2**

**A/N: **Sorry it's been so long since the last chapter. I hit a mental block, and then forgot about it. Chapters will be slower from now on though. I can't do daily chapters as I'm doing a lot of other things at the moment (including running a wiki for the Stick of Truth). I'll still try for weekly, but no promises until I have more free time.


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